BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pret ty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical reco rds show that nine out of
ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
投资未来,还是建一个監牢
-
在中国有很多悲情的故事:诉说一个贫寒的家庭如果想供养出一个秀才,举家都要牺牲几代人的生活品质;或者为了让其中一个孩子可以读书,年長孩子必须早早辍学。到了上世纪七十年代至八十年代,东南亚各国的学子如果没有资源出国深造,为了读取一点点专业知识,全靠在学院和学校附近的复印小店里挨页复印。
之后,互联网时代到来,知...
5 hours ago

No comments:
Post a Comment