AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean ... Part2

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

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Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

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Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help'
command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer
retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been
over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"

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Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..
what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

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Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei
AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
FOR 4-7 YRS".

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At a bar in New York , the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"